Cat
Cats appreciate in value over time through mechanisms no financial instrument can replicate. The average feline lifespan of 15 to 20 years encompasses countless accumulated experiences, inside jokes, and shared routines that deepen the human-animal bond continuously. Memories compound like interest, each year adding to a relationship that becomes increasingly irreplaceable.
The investment returns prove non-transferable. A cat of fifteen years cannot be exchanged for another without losing the entire accumulated value. This illiquidity, typically considered disadvantageous in economic terms, actually constitutes the cat's primary asset: it becomes uniquely yours in ways nothing else can.
Fried Chicken
Fried chicken provides no long-term value whatsoever in relational terms. Each piece exists as an entirely discrete transaction, offering its benefits during consumption and precisely zero benefits thereafter. The chicken consumed last Tuesday maintains no connection to today's potential chicken. No bond forms, no memories accumulate, no relationship deepens.
What fried chicken does provide is caloric storage, though nutritionists consistently recommend against treating this as a value proposition. The fat deposits remaining from historic fried chicken consumption serve primarily as evidence of past enjoyment rather than ongoing benefit.