Where Everything Fights Everything
Sith Lord and cinema's greatest villain reveal.
A debugging tool for programmers and bathtub companion for everyone else. This hollow yellow bird has solved more software bugs than most senior engineers. Also squeaks.
The Winner Is
The evidence, when weighed with appropriate scholarly detachment, reveals an outcome that may surprise observers expecting galactic might to triumph over bathroom accessories. Darth Vader excels in precisely one domain: the projection of immediate physical threat. In all other categories examined, the Rubber Duck demonstrates quiet superiority.
This result should not be interpreted as a dismissal of Sith accomplishments. Vader's influence upon popular culture remains profound, his aesthetic contributions to villain design unmatched, his respiratory struggles oddly moving. Yet influence and utility are separate metrics. The duck does not seek to dominate; it seeks merely to float, and in that simplicity lies its triumph.
The final assessment awards victory to the Rubber Duck by a margin of 55% to 45%. It requires no tragic backstory, no extensive lore, no periodic reboots to maintain relevance. It emerged from the industrial age as a simple object and has, through sheer persistence and universal applicability, achieved a form of immortality that even the Force cannot guarantee.