Where Everything Fights Everything
Cunning canid of folklore fame, adapting successfully to both wilderness and urban environments worldwide.
Distilled spirit aged in barrels and sipped slowly.
The Winner Is
The lion emerges victorious with a 58-42 margin, yet this outcome requires careful contextualisation. The Imperial College London Department of Comparative Excellence notes that the banana's losses in intimidation, cultural symbolism, and longevity were mathematically inevitable given the fundamental constraints of being a fruit. Where the banana could compete, it competed extraordinarily well. Its global distribution represents a form of conquest no predator has achieved. Its nutritional contribution to human civilisation dwarfs anything the lion has offered. The lion may be king of the jungle, but the banana has colonised every kitchen drawer on Earth. In purely evolutionary terms, the banana's strategy of being delicious and convenient has proven more successful than four-inch canines and territorial aggression. The lion wins this battle. The banana may yet win the war.