Topic Battle

Cheese is available virtually everywhere humans have established settlements. From corner shops in rural Wales to supermarkets in suburban Tokyo, dairy products maintain an omnipresence that borders on the philosophical. The average British consumer encounters approximately 47 cheese purchasing opportunities weekly, according to the Reading Consumer Access Survey.

Price points range from budget cheddar at under $3 per kilogram to high-end varieties exceeding $100 per kilogram, ensuring cheese accessibility across economic strata. Lactose-free and vegan alternatives have further expanded the addressable market. The Sheffield Food Accessibility Institute concludes that cheese has achieved 'near-universal availability, limited only by polar expeditions and the truly lactose-averse.'

The global cheese market exceeds $155 billion annually, a figure that makes panda economics look like pocket change. The United States alone produces 6 million tonnes yearly, while Europe maintains its position as the spiritual homeland of fermented dairy products. Individual cheese wheels have sold at auction for over $26,000, which is considerably more than most people spend on bears.

Cheese drives entire regional economies. The Parmigiano-Reggiano consortium controls $2.5 billion in annual production. Swiss cheese exports contribute significantly to national GDP. The Wisconsin Dairy Economic Institute reports that cheese production supports approximately 1.2 million American jobs, from dairy farmers to the people who design those little wax coatings.

Cheese has infiltrated virtually every cuisine on Earth with the quiet determination of a very patient fungus. From the Roquefort caves of France to the string cheese factories of Wisconsin, dairy fermentation has conquered approximately 98% of terrestrial food cultures. The International Dairy Federation reports global cheese production exceeds 22 million tonnes annually, enough to construct a cheese wall visible from space.

The economic influence is staggering. The European Union maintains protected designation for over 200 cheese varieties, treating aged milk products with the legal reverence typically reserved for historical monuments. The Gloucester Dairy Economics Laboratory estimates that cheese-related commerce generates $150 billion annually, dwarfing the GDP of many nations. Mozzarella alone moves with more economic velocity than most cryptocurrencies.

Cheese represents humanity's answer to the fundamental problem of milk: it goes off. By introducing specific bacteria and fungi, humans transformed a perishable liquid into a product that can survive for decades. Parmigiano-Reggiano wheels are aged for 36 months minimum. Some clothbound cheddars mature for over seven years. The Somerset Institute of Fermentation Sciences calls this 'controlled decomposition as a preservation method,' which sounds significantly more appetising than it is.

Cheese has survived technological obsolescence, dietary trends, and lactose intolerance awareness campaigns. It has adapted to become vegan, dairy-free, and spreadable. The Stilton Adaptation Research Centre notes that cheese has demonstrated remarkable evolutionary flexibility for a product that is technically not alive, though the blue varieties do raise philosophical questions.

Cheese symbolises prosperity, sophistication, and the acceptable face of bacterial activity. A cheese board at a dinner party signals cultural refinement. Knowledge of cheese varieties has become a social class marker in numerous societies. The Lyon Institute of Gastronomic Semiotics observes that saying 'I prefer a nice aged Comte' communicates more social information than a detailed CV.

Cheese appears in religious traditions, folk sayings, and photographic instructions. The phrase 'say cheese' has made dairy synonymous with happiness in over 40 languages. The moon, according to persistent folklore, is composed of the stuff. The British Cheese Board notes that no other food product has achieved lunar association except perhaps crackers, and only as an accessory.