Panda
Approximately 1,864 pandas exist in the wild, with another 600 in captivity globally. Viewing one requires either significant travel investment or acceptance of pixelated livestream footage. The Manchester Accessibility Studies Group calculated that the average British citizen lives 847 miles from their nearest panda. Even zoo visits demand scheduling around the creatures' extensive sleeping habits - pandas remain unconscious for roughly 14 hours daily, further limiting interaction windows.
Chocolate
Chocolate achieves near-universal distribution. The Oxford Retail Geography Unit confirmed chocolate availability within 400 metres of 98.7% of UK addresses. It requires no appointment, never sleeps, and presents itself willingly at eye level in every petrol station, cinema, and corner shop. Multiple quality tiers ensure accessibility across all economic brackets, from 60p bars to 40-pound artisan selections. Immediate gratification remains perpetually available.
VERDICT
This category produces the investigation's most decisive result. Pandas exist as rare spectacles requiring pilgrimage; chocolate functions as omnipresent comfort available on demand. The Sheffield Institute of Instant Gratification notes that chocolate's accessibility converts potential desire into actual consumption within an average of 4.7 minutes. Pandas cannot compete with shelf-stable ubiquity.