Procrastination
Procrastination demonstrates a highly variable velocity profile, capable of bringing tasks to complete standstill for periods ranging from minutes to years. The procrastinating individual may achieve zero meaningful progress on primary objectives whilst simultaneously accomplishing extraordinary quantities of secondary tasks. This phenomenon, termed productive procrastination, enables activities such as reorganising entire filing systems, learning obscure historical facts, or achieving inbox zero, all whilst avoiding the singular task at hand.
Crucially, procrastination can reverse instantly. The approaching deadline triggers what researchers call panic productivity, wherein weeks of delayed work compresses into hours of frantic output. This velocity variability represents either a feature or a bug, depending upon one's philosophical orientation toward temporal management.
Glacier
The glacier maintains remarkable consistency in its approach to velocity. Average glacial movement ranges from 0.3 to 30 metres per day, with exceptional surging glaciers achieving 30 metres daily during active phases. This represents neither speed nor stillness, but rather a third category of motion entirely: the inexorable. A glacier cannot be rushed by deadline, nor can it be persuaded to pause.
The Jakobshavn Glacier in Greenland holds the speed record at approximately 46 metres per day, yet even this exceptional performer would require 34 years to travel the length of a standard marathon. The glacier's relationship with speed transcends human timeframes entirely, operating on scales where urgency becomes meaningless.