Zebra
Mountain
The mountain's survival strategy requires no strategy whatsoever, which may represent the ultimate evolutionary achievement. Mountains do not flee predators because nothing preys upon mountains. They do not seek food because they require none. They face threats only from erosion and the occasional determined quarrying operation. The Geological Longevity Board estimates that a typical mountain outlasts approximately 50 million generations of sloths, suggesting that doing absolutely nothing remains the most effective survival mechanism yet documented.
VERDICT
The sloth's survival through calculated sluggishness deserves recognition, but the mountain's complete absence of survival requirements renders the comparison almost unfair. Existing without biological needs trumps existing slowly.