Spider-Man
Spongebob
SpongeBob SquarePants presents a fascinating case study in cartoon physics and the biological impossibilities thereof. As a sea sponge of the genus Aplysina, he theoretically possesses no central nervous system, musculature, or skeletal structure. Yet observational data confirms his ability to walk, speak, and operate complex kitchen equipment with remarkable dexterity.
His most documented physical attribute remains his extraordinary absorbency. Laboratory testing suggests capacity for liquid retention exceeding his apparent volume by several orders of magnitude, a phenomenon that violates conservation of mass principles entirely. His regenerative capabilities are similarly impressive; documented instances show complete reconstitution following compression, perforation, and thermal exposure.
SpongeBob demonstrates unusual flexibility, capable of assuming shapes physically impossible for his apparent body plan. His durability, whilst contextually variable, has survived industrial-scale jellyfish stinging, prolonged dehydration, and direct confrontation with apex predators. However, his strength metrics remain decidedly unimpressive by superhero standards.
VERDICT
Despite SpongeBob's impressive regenerative properties and absorbency metrics, Spider-Man's documented feats of strength, speed, and sensory enhancement establish clear physical superiority. One can absorb water; the other can bench-press automobiles.