Topic Battle

Spider-Man's velocity, whilst admirable for a biped, operates in an entirely different category. Maximum web-slinging speed reaches approximately 90 mph under optimal conditions, which whilst faster than Usain Bolt, remains considerably slower than electromagnetic radiation.

His spider-sense provides reaction times of 40 times faster than average humans, yet even this impressive neural enhancement cannot compete with light-speed data transmission. Moreover, Spider-Man requires warmup time, strategic building placement, and occasionally pauses mid-swing to deliver quips. WiFi delivers its packets without editorial commentary.

Spider-Man demonstrates remarkable operational consistency. Since 1962, he has maintained a near-perfect attendance record for New York emergencies, absent only during periods of existential crisis, temporary death, or contract disputes between studios.

His web-shooters, despite being mechanical devices, exhibit extraordinary reliability. Peter Parker's engineering prowess ensures backup cartridges, contingency plans, and the occasional organic web generation when plot demands. Whilst he has experienced equipment failures, these typically occur at narratively appropriate moments and resolve within the same issue or film act.

Peter Parker's versatility extends beyond mere web-slinging. He functions as scientist, photographer, teacher, and occasional Avenger. His webs serve multiple purposes: transportation, weapon, restraint device, impromptu bandage, and structural support for collapsing buildings.

However, Spider-Man's versatility has inherent limitations. He cannot simultaneously save multiple locations, his crime-fighting interferes with employment stability, and his double life creates persistent relationship complications. WiFi suffers no such identity crises, providing service without personal drama.

Spider-Man's geographical coverage presents certain logistical limitations. His primary operational theatre remains the greater New York metropolitan area, with occasional excursions to locations where villains inconveniently choose to conduct their schemes.

Whilst the character enjoys global recognition across 150+ countries, his actual web-slinging capabilities are constrained by several factors: the need for tall buildings (problematic in rural Kansas), the finite range of his web-shooters (approximately 60 feet), and his unfortunate requirement for oxygen. Spider-Man cannot, for instance, provide assistance to someone drowning mid-Atlantic, whereas WiFi operates contentedly aboard cruise ships.

Spider-Man's cultural penetration is equally profound, though operating through different mechanisms. The character has generated over $8 billion in film revenue alone, not counting comics, merchandise, video games, and Broadway musicals.

His origin story of 'with great power comes great responsibility' has become philosophical shorthand, quoted in graduation speeches, corporate training sessions, and United Nations addresses. Spider-Man represents the aspirational notion that ordinary individuals can become extraordinary, a message that has inspired multiple generations to attempt parkour with varying success rates.